My name is dasha.I'm twenty year old.I work at XXX,I'm form in beijing.I was born on august 5。I enjoy playing football,basketball,listen to music,I enjoy listen to music the best.My favourite composer is huangjiaju.I want to be fashion designer.行吗？？？
热心网友
还是应该再修改一下：My name is dasha.I'm twenty years （year一定要改成years) old.I work at XXX,I'm from (form 改成from,) beijing (in Beijing的in要去掉）.I was born on august 5th (5后面一定要加th)。I enjoy playing football,basketball,music (直接写music就好了，不用加listen to),I enjoy music (一样的，不用加listen to) best (the best 和the应去掉）.My favourite composer is huangjiaju.I want to be a (fashion designer前一定要加a) fashion designer.
热心网友
Hello! This is Dasha,I am from Beijing and 20years old ,I am working in XXX .My favourite is listen to music,and enjoy playing football,basketball.My dream is to be a fashion anks to listening.
热心网友
My name is Dasha. I'm twenty years old. I work at XXX. I come from Beijing. I was born on August 5th. I enjoy playing football,basketball and listenning to the music.My favourite composer is Huang jiaju. I want to be a fashion designer.